Friday, March 9, 2012

Humor quotes


Humor quotes - I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends’ shortcomings.

A lifelong friend is someone you haven’t borrowed money from yet.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

A joke is a very serious thing.

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Albert Einstein

“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
― Mark Twain

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

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